|Your Memories Are Happy|
You’ll be the first to admit that you don’t dwell on the past. You believe that what’s done is done.
You’re even able to laugh at some of the crazier things that have happened in your life. It all seems better through the rear view mirror.
Buy a new husband in New York City….
Tuesday, August 28th, 2007
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the
Shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign
Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
“That’s nice”, she thinks, “but I want more.” So she continues upwards.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good
Looking.”Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous and Help With Housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous,
Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened
a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited
DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES – LET’S
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z ‘S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE
Fanfare For The Makers
by Louis MacNeice
A cloud of witnesses. To whom? To what?
To the small fire that never leaves the sky.
To the great fire that boils the daily pot.
To all the things we are not remembered by,
Which we remember and bless. To all the things
That will not notice when we die,
Yet lend the passing moment words and wings.
So fanfare for the Makers: who compose
A book of words or deeds who runs may write
As many who do run, as a family grows
At times like sunflowers turning towards the light.
As sometimes in the blackout and the raids
One joke composed an island in the night.
As sometimes one man’s kindness pervades
A room or house or village, as sometimes
Merely to tighten screws or sharpen blades
Can catch a meaning, as to hear the chimes
At midnight means to share them, as one man
In old age plants an avenue of limes
And before they bloom can smell them, before they span
The road can walk beneath the perfected arch,
The merest greenprint when the lives began
Of those who walk there with him, as in default
Of coffee men grind acorns, as in despite
Of all assaults conscripts counter assault,
As mothers sit up late night after night
Moulding a life, as miners day by day
Descend blind shafts, as a boy may flaunt his kite
In an empty nonchalent sky, as anglers play
Their fish, as workers work and can take pride
In spending sweat before they draw their pay.
As horsemen fashion horses while they ride,
As climbers climb a peak because it is there,
As life can be confirmed even in suicide:
To make is such. Let us make. And set the weather fair.
It feels as if we have only just welcomed Lammas and here we are half way through the month, I blink and time speeds by! 133 days to Christmas, (don’t shout, Selfridges started it), 138 till new year and 744 until we retake our vows, (give or take a few days, we may not be able to do it at exactly the same time or the place we had planned on because of a number of reasons. But we have lots of other cards up our sleeves). It’s funny but I am getting more excited about this than I did the wedding, (I have already spent more time looking at hair dos and dresses than I did for the wedding. Enough of that now, I have 744 days to fill before then).
I wish the weather would make up it’s mind, is it summer or autumn, do I put away my jacket and get out my cape, is this humid weather going to clear soon… Anyone have an answer?
Iam going now to look at more pretties on the web.
Here we go a bit more fun.
|You Are Disturbingly Profound|
You’re contemplative, thoughtful, and very intense.